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Impromptu Slip & Slide Party Ruins Stage 5 of Tour De France

<>

A group of US college students in europe to see - "What's that guys name - you know the guy who I told my parents we were coming to see race his bike or something so that we could just get wasted for a month straight on my dad's credit card."  caused a huge crash at the finish of today's stage 5 when they got bored and started a drunken slip and slide party on the last turn before the finish straight.
Menginslipslide




July 07, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (27) | TrackBack (0)

McEwen Takes Stage 5 - Secret Dedication Revealed!

Few ever show the energy Robbie McEwen did as he won stage 5 of the Tour de France.  That's because there are few people as outraged at the conviction of Lil' Kim as he.  Those at the finish line  reported that he was screaming, "Be strong Queen Bee!" as he crossed the finish line. Mcewenfreelilkim_2

July 07, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Hat in Hand

Jd05tdfstg4_zabriskiehurt_1I'm not much of a Lance fan, but have to respect him for refusing to wear the yellow jersey at the start of todays stage 5.  He refused to do so because he got it via Zabriskies crash. 

Few who have ever raced doubt that if it weren't for the hesitation and then the effort to accelerate back up to speed after the crash, CSC would have probably won by more than a few seconds rather than losing by a few.  Such is racing though!

July 06, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Special Helmets Secure Discovery Team's Stage 4 Tour de France Win

Mickeymousett_2Neat - Lance won again -blah, blah, blah.  Rumor has it that Phil, Bob, Paul and Al are going to lead off tomorrows OLN coverage with............... 

<>

Who's the patron of the bunch
That's made for you and me?
M-E-L-L-O
-W  J-O-H-N-N-Y!

Hey, there! Hi, there! Ho, there!
You're as aero as can be!
M-E-L-L-O-W  J-O-H-N-N-Y!

Mellow Johnny! Paolo Salvodeli!
Mellow Johnny! Georgie Hincapie!
Forever let us hold our special aerodynamic water bottles high!
High! High!   High!.................................. 


It was bad enough listening to them worship Lance BEFORE he got the lead - I may have to watch the rest of the Tour on mute.

July 05, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

"Wisconsin Waterfall" Drenches Peloton in Stage 3 of the 2005 Tour De France

Boonen does it again - two road stages - two victories. 

I sense the return of Mars Blackmon - "It's gotta be the haircut, money, it's got to be the haircut!"
Marsblackmon

How about the "Hargey-Bargey" in the sprint for second place?  Naughty-naughty Mr. McEwen.


Boonen22_2

July 05, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

Boonen Takes Stage 1

Tom Boonen uncorked one yesterday in the first stage of the Tour de France.  There are some stellar mullets in the peloton, but Tom does the Achey Breaky Bad Mistakey some real justice.  I saw Sheryl Crow wearing a 10/2 t-shirt with one yellow banded sleeve on OLN yesterday while talking to Bob Roll and Al Trautwig.  Somewhere, on some euro channel, Tom Boonen's girlfriend was being interviewed in a 10/90 t-shirt with one long sleeve and one short.  Rock that Sho-Lo Bro! 

<>

Jean Claude Van-Damnit has very clearly established in his fine films?! that it is possible to be a twin, separated at birth from your brother.  How about this.......a famous American or Scottish actor twin for Tom?  Tom..........use the force Tom, use the force! 
Betterboonenmullet_3Starwarsmullet_4 Boonenmullet_3                                                                 Ghostwrldmullet_4                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            
Wankerboonenmullet

July 04, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

You Can't Spell "Lance Armstrong Ass - Clown" without OLN!

Olnassclown_2I've finally figured it out - I just "kind of" dislike Lance Armstrong, but I fucking HATE all of the Lance Armstrong Ass - Puppets!  Since the whole world seems to condone the abuses of the religious right, why not abide by their silly rules and in particular, the idol worship bit. 

July 02, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

What a Difference a Commute Makes

Before I blab a bit - check out this add Download miller_altfuel.html .  Schweet!  If you want to skip my blathering, be sure to check out the video at the end of the post as well.

Commuter_1
How many people do you know that get excited about a 30 mile commute?  I've been over the moon about mine - by bike.  I am a teacher and live 30 miles from school.  Unfortunately, up until the last three weeks, I have had a first period class and have had to be ready to rock and roll by 7:45am.  This made the hour and a half commute + 30 minute shower time impossible considering I'd have to wake up at 5am every morning. 

Anyway, I haven't had that first period class for the last three weeks because the seniors graduated and the juniors went off on foriegn language trips.  This left me with only one class of sophomores at 2:20 every day! 

I commuted at least three of the five days each week.  It is f'ing awesome getting sixty miles in each day BEFORE I would normally even get out on the road. 

Enough of the boring stuff - check this out - you will probably wet yourself! http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.shtml 

June 09, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Would you pass?

Jan Check out this video clip

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=urso91&width=480

Quick poll - besides thinking that the guy who biffs it is an idiot, let me know what you think about a situation like this.  As the guy in second before the mishap, do you pass the guy to take the win, or do you check that no one is behind you and then let the guy get up and finish the deal in first?

Maybe practising your victory salute every once and a while isn't such a bad idea?

P.S. Get used to seeing Jan doing a lot of this come July!

June 07, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Senior Speeches

Bd_hell_in_a_wheelbarrow2_2 As school ends (and my teaching career), I feel like the seniors do in a lot of ways.  Found this HST passage the other day and it made me feel pretty good about what I'm doing. 

Anyway, the seniors select a member of their class to make a speech at graduation. The following is the outline from this years speaker.  If you read anything, be sure to read the last paragraph. THIS is the only part of this job I ever really liked............

this is my spiyatch:

perhaps at first I will express some trepidation over the fact that I have been selected to give this speech since I do not feel that I can accurately reflect the experiences of the senior class as a whole

everyone will expect this self-doubt to be rooted in the fact that I will not be attending college in the fall; imagine their shock, then, when instead I MAKE SEVERAL HUMOROUS REFERENCES TO THINGS WHICH HAVE HAPPENED THROUGHOUT THE YEAR!!!  HUMOROUS THINGS!!!

(sample: “my arms are long and weird-shaped and so I have to pay full price for all of my soda-colas or something” (THE IMPLICATION BEING THAT I AM NOT GOOD AT STEALING FROM THE VENDING MACHINERY) (they will probably not all be as shameful and embarrassing to the school as this) (or perhaps yes))

having thus established my credibility as a lovable rake, I will bust out some mad Vladimir Nabokov quoteage (it’s actually a pretty good quote about FAITH, which is going to be a Major Theme of my speech) (not faith in the religious sense) (this would make more sense if you saw the quote, which is about how “true faith does not demand a precise picture of what awaits us, but simply contents itself with vague notions that things will be better someday”; Vlad uses the example of a kid moving into a new house far away from his old one, but TRUST ME, the actual quote is pretty funny)

… whereupon I will proceed to dispense a variety of humor, advice, and humorous advice, playing upon the central theme as though it were a piccolo or some other easy-to-play instrument.  being that I am, first and foremost, a man of the people, you need not worry about whether or not my humor will be appreciated by all, as this seems pretty much inevitable.  however, in the unlikely event that people do not laugh and/or are offended, my suicide will be swift and honorable.  I hope this assurance puts to rest any nagging concerns you may have as to the appropriateness of my speech’s content.  we’re cool, right?

the last word of my speech will be “stables”, or perhaps “alone”.

May 18, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

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Recent Posts

  • Impromptu Slip & Slide Party Ruins Stage 5 of Tour De France
  • McEwen Takes Stage 5 - Secret Dedication Revealed!
  • Hat in Hand
  • Special Helmets Secure Discovery Team's Stage 4 Tour de France Win
  • "Wisconsin Waterfall" Drenches Peloton in Stage 3 of the 2005 Tour De France
  • Boonen Takes Stage 1
  • You Can't Spell "Lance Armstrong Ass - Clown" without OLN!
  • What a Difference a Commute Makes
  • Would you pass?
  • Senior Speeches

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